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David Deida – Wild Nights
Conversations with Mykonos about Passionate Love, Extraordinary Sex, and How to Open to God
Meet Mykonos: scurrilous madman—and voice of truth. Wild Nights, David Deida’s autobiographical novel, presents a remarkable account of his days with the unconventional teacher who revealed to him the deeper wisdom of the erotic path to the divine.
Mykonos challenges our understanding of what makes a spiritual life. Brutally candid, he offers his teaching to anyone ready to listen, with an uncanny ability to see into the hearts and minds of his students better than they can their own. Charged with provocative scenes of unbridled passion and play, Wild Nights explodes with spiritual insights into our choice to “open as love, or close and suffer” … yogic sexual techniques including circular breathing and expanding feeling beyond the self and into the heart of a lover … and why, for some, full sexual expression is a requirement of spiritual maturation.
For its honest depiction of the spiritual teacher and student relationship—and the questions it demands we ask about our own sexuality—Wild Nights proclaims David Deida a guiding light in the often cloudy realm of sex and spirit.
From Wild Nights:
“Women or God,” Mykonos said, “that’s the traditional choice for so-called spiritual men, you see. But it is a completely unnecessary choice. Women are God, sex is God, everything is God, and God is beyond everything, too.”
David Deida – The Way of the Superior Man
A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire
The Ultimate Spiritual Guide for Men
What is your true purpose in life? What do women really want? What makes a good lover? If you’re a man reading this, you’ve undoubtedly asked yourself these questions—but you may not have had much luck answering them. Until now.
In The Way of the Superior Man, David Deida explores the most important issues in men’s lives, from career and family to women and intimacy to love and spirituality, to offer a practical guidebook for living a masculine life of integrity, authenticity, and freedom. Join this bestselling author and internationally renowned expert on sexual spirituality for straightforward advice, empowering skills, body practices, and more to help you realize a life of fulfillment, immediately and without compromise.
“It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart,” writes Deida. “It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive wimp ideal, all heart and no spine.” The Way of the Superior Man presents the ultimate challenge—and reward—for today’s man: to “unify heart and spine” through the full expression of consciousness and love in the infinite openness of the present moment.
“I keep giving this book away; I think I’ve owned thirty different copies already. I tend to pass it out to anybody, man or woman, who has made a commitment to—or even has a passing interest in—the art of loving. David Deida gets it—like no one I’ve ever read and he writes about it forcefully, honestly, and downright poetically.”
–MICHAEL TUCKER Actor, author
“The Way of the Superior Man is quite wonderful. Finally, a guide for the noncastrated male. This book will offend and infuriate some, inspire and test others, but challenge virtually everybody. Few are the books that discuss strong sexuality within strong spirituality, instead of tepid sexuality diluted by a mediocre spiritual stance. This book steps straightforwardly into the challenge. Love it or loathe it, it is a shout from the heart of one perspective of the eternal masculine.”
–KEN WILBER Author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality; No Boundary; and Grace and Grit
“At last! A book that explains the heart and soul of a woman to men. As a woman, I’ve never felt so understood and validated. This book is a key to helping men and women take their relationships one step further. Finally, a clear and brilliant guide to unraveling the mystery of relationships.”
–MARCI SHIMOFF Co-author of the New York Times #1 bestseller
Chicken Soup for the Woman’s Soul
“The Way of the Superior Man lays out a challenge before all men to fulfill their true purpose and to be authentically masculine. It will guide you on your journey to a successful and spiritually complete way of life. I invite you to live in the moment, to love openly, and to step up to the plate with this book in your hand.”
–TONY ROBBINS Author of Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power
The Way of the Superior Man
TABLE OF CONTENTS
part one: A MAN’S WAY
1 Stop Hoping for a Completion of Anything in Life
2 Live With an Open Heart Even If It Hurts
3 Live As If Your Father Were Dead
4 Know Your Real Edge and Don’t Fake It
5 Always Hold To Your Deepest Realization
6 Never Change Your Mind Just to Please a Woman
7 Your Purpose Must Come Before Your Relationship
8 Lean Just Beyond Your Edge
9 Do It for Love
10 Enjoy Your Friends’ Criticism
11 If You Don’t Know Your Purpose, Discover It, Now
12 Be Willing To Change Everything in Your Life
13 Don’t Use Your Family As an Excuse
14 Don’t Get Lost in Tasks and Duties
15 Stop Hoping for Your Woman to Get Easier
part two: DEALING WITH WOMEN
16 Women Are Not Liars
17 Praise Her
18 Tolerating Her Leads to Resenting Her
19 Don’t Analyze Your Woman
20 Don’t Suggest That a Woman Fix Her Own Emotional Problem
21 Stay With Her Intensity––To a Point
22 Don’t Force the Feminine to Make Decisions
part three: WORKING WITH POLARITY AND ENERGY
23 Your Attraction to the Feminine Is Inevitable
24 Choose a Woman Who Is Your Complementary Opposite
25 Know What Is Important in Your Woman
26 You Will Often Want More Than One Woman
27 Young Women Offer You a Special Energy
28 Each Woman Has a “Temperature” That Can Heal or Irritate You
part four: WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT
29 Choose a Woman Who Chooses You
30 What She Wants Is Not What She Says
31 Her Complaint Is Content-Free
32 She Doesn’t Really Want to Be Number One
33 Your Excellent Track Record Is Meaningless to Her
34 She Wants to Relax in the Demonstration of Your Direction
part five: YOUR DARK SIDE
35 You Are Always Searching for Freedom
36 Own Your Darkest Desires
37 She Wants the “Killer” in You
38 She Needs Your Consciousness to Match Her Energy
part six: FEMININE ATTRACTIVENESS
39 The Feminine is Abundant
40 Allow Older Women Their Magic
41 Turn Your Lust Into Gifts
42 Never Allow Your Desire to Become Suppressed or Depolarized
43 Use Her Attractiveness as a Slingshot Through Appearance
part seven: BODY PRACTICES
44 Ejaculation Should Be Converted or Consciously Chosen
45 Breathe Down the Front
46 Ejaculate Up the Spine
part eight: MEN’S AND WOMEN’S YOGA OF INTIMACY
47 Take into Account the Primary Asymmetry
48 You Are Responsible for the Growth in Intimacy
49 Insist on Practice and Growth
50 Restore Your Purpose in Solitude and with Other Men
51 Practice Dissolving
David Deida – Instant Enlightenment
Fast, Deep, and Sexy
Does enlightenment have a dark side? It does, explains David Deida, “but instead of closing to what seems unloving, we can learn to open as what we would rather avoid.” In Instant Enlightenment, this maverick author and teacher offers a “rude awakening” through a collection of daring exercises and practices intended to provoke, challenge, and immediately reveal the ever-present “love that lives all things.”
What’s the filthiest thing you can say that still feels like, “I love you”? Can you “wear” the mood and shape of everyone and everything around you without fear or reservation? Which imagined action—sleeping, sexing, or dying to save another—most feels like liberation and unbound love? These are just some of the unconventional questions raised in Instant Enlightenment. Each pithy chapter encourages readers to blast the light of consciousness on the taboos we hide in shadow, from our ideas about sex and money to emotions and spirituality.
“The secret to gifting your life’s deepest purpose is to open through what you most resist, so your love’s mission can bless the world,” writes David Deida. Instant Enlightenment will surprise and possibly offend you—but it will lead you “fast and suddenly” to the realization of the sacred entirety of your experience.
“Instant enlightenment. Sound ridiculous? It would be, if enlightenment existed in time. But it exists in the present, before time even moves. Instant Enlightenment is a series of pointers to who you are in the timeless now. In other words, David Deida points directly to the present moment in which ‘you’ and ‘God’ are simply two names for the same openness in which the entire universe arises, an openness you can feel right now, if you know where to look. And Instant Enlightenment is the place to start.
Instant Enlightenment? Oh, I assure you, it’s not hard to attain— and it’s impossible to avoid. Want to find out why? And how? Dive straight into this book. Open to any page and read for two minutes, and you’ll see that you are instant enlightenment. I’d offer a money-back guarantee, but I wouldn’t have any takers.”
—Ken Wilber, author of A Brief History of Everything and Integral Spirituality
David Deida – Finding God Through Sex: Awakening the One of Spirit Through the Two of Flesh
Awakening the One of Spirit through the Two of Flesh
A Spiritual Guide to Ecstatic Loving and Deep Passion for Men and Women
When it comes to sex, most of us want more. The question is: more of what? When the depth of intimacy you’ve been experiencing is no longer fulfilling to your heart and body—when you sense that sexuality should go far beyond an embrace of brief satisfaction—the time has come to explore your unique sexual path to the divine, teaches David Deida. In Finding God Through Sex, this brilliant writer and internationally renowned expert on spiritual sexuality presents a revolutionary new way to love—one in which sex literally becomes an erotic act of devotional surrender, “making love, magnifying love, from the boundless depth of your heart through every inch of your body and in merger with your lover.”
Through provocative vignettes that illuminate the many moods that color lovemaking, and direct instruction that speaks honestly to the masculine and feminine desires within each of us, Deida brings wisdom gained from 30 years of work with thousands of couples to illustrate the distinct yet complementary avenues men and women can skillfully travel toward untamed passion and sacred unity. What unfolds is an unparalleled roadmap to the place where we “love as the cosmos loves: One loving itself as an other, yet remembering itself as One.”
“We all taste God, taste Goddess, taste pure Spirit in those moments of sexual rapture, and wise men and women have always used that rapture to reveal Spirit’s innermost secrets. David Deida is such a wise one.”
–From the Foreword by Ken Wilber, author of Sex, Ecology, Spirituality
“David Deida is the one Western teacher of Tantra whose books I read and to whom I send students to learn from.”
–Lama Surya Das, author of Awakening the Buddha Within
“David Deida’s vision of interdependence between the sexes is spiritually profound and psychologically astute. His message, delivered in provocative and compelling prose, has the power to transform intimate relationships into a sublime adventure, a journey to the farthest reaches of human experience.”
–Miranda Shaw, Ph.D., author of Passionate Enlightenment
“David Deida’s work reveals a depth of loving the human condition and understanding its immanent spirituality I’ve seldom seen, even in a glimmer. It’s hard for me to find words with which to express my appreciation and admiration for this unique gift. In piercingly beautiful, yet fully human examples, Finding God Through Sex shows how enlightenment can blossom through passion and connection with the beloved.”
–Jenny Wade, Ph.D., author of Transcendent Sex
David Deida- Blue Truth: A Spiritual Guide to Life & Death and Love & Sex
A Spiritual Guide to Life & Death and Love & Sex
“Have you ever looked closely at a flame? The reds and yellows are easy to see, but deep in the center of the flame is blue. You can easily avoid the blue, miss it altogether if you just look at the surface colors. But always blue is here, deeper than where your vision stops …”
You are deeper than your life shows, and you know it. You are more loving than your relationships allow, more brilliant than your career suggests. In your secret depth of being, you are infinite, creative, boundless—and utterly unable to press your full glory into the world. Or so it seems.
In Blue Truth—winner of the 2005 Spirituality and Health magazine’s Best Spiritual Book Award— internationally acclaimed teacher David Deida presents a treasury of insights for uncovering your true heart of purpose, passion, and unquenchable love. In Part One, Deida shows you how to “open as the entirety of the moment, feeling as deep inside and as far outside as you can, for as long as now opens.” In Part Two, he reveals how to walk this path in the wilderness of intimate relationship, illuminating “the art and play of sexual gifting” and how to expertly navigate the tangle of anger, jealousy, fear, and lust.
“Knowing the truth is fairly useless; feeling it is profound; living it makes all the
difference,” teaches David Deida. With Blue Truth, you have an unprecedented guide for living your own deep truth, and awakening “as the bare openness you are, in the free offering of love to all.”
Praise for Blue Truth:
“Blue Truth is a brilliant book, absolutely gorgeous. Ancient wisdom on sacred sexuality, freed of historical and cultural trappings, glows from these pages in exhilarating, luminous prose. Deida brilliantly lays bare the hidden psychology of feminine and masculine and offers clear instructions for tapping into our deepest core and achieving true harmony through sexual intimacy. I feel that Deida has reached a new level of poetic genius in his writing, and his understanding of feminine psychology astounds me. I am just knocked out by this book.”
—Miranda Shaw, Ph.D.
Author: Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism
“Blue Truth is a fresh and original contribution to an unorthodox lineage tradition of unsullied new revelations. David Deida is in the dynamic living oral tradition of maverick spiritual teachers who, like free-jazz musicians, can riff directly on Reality, outside of established forms. Mark my words: in a future that I hope is not too far off, Deida’s original western Dharma will be widely known as one of the most sublime and accessible expressions of the essence of spiritual practice that is freely offered today.
—Lama Surya Das
Bestselling Author: Awakening the Buddha Within
“The openness, the love! What lively new language David Deida finds for the unsayable!”
Author: The Essential Rumi
Lama Surya Das on David Deida’s Blue Truth
How can I characterize Blue Truth and the spiritual teaching of David Deida? David presents the kind of challenge that creative artists, spiritual awakeners, and innovators in the history of human beings have always posed. When faced with something new, original, and profound, language fails and the mind is humbled by the lack of a category to hang it on. I could compare David’s work with the Tantric traditions that it certainly resembles in many respects—or Kashmir Shaivism … Or I could write of its similarities with my own Dzogchen lineage of Buddhism, for it certainly shares with our tradition deep insights into reality and what is.
But there are few categories I know of for an original like David; for his teachings there is no pigeonhole. He himself is carving out his own territory, like a pioneer, an explorer. Unlike much of what we find in the spiritual marketplace today, David does not merely mouth pale shadows of truths from other times, places, and people, but is in the dynamic living oral tradition of maverick spiritual teachers who, like free-jazz musicians, can riff directly on Reality, outside of established forms. This is why I am attuned to his provocative, sacred music.
Blue Truth is a fresh and original contribution to an unorthodox lineage tradition of unsullied new revelations. Much of the book helps us learn how to use our bare awareness and pure attention to reconnect and relax into the View of things as they are amidst daily life—with our kids, watching TV, at work, and so forth. Beyond our time on the meditation cushion or yoga mat, spiritual awakening includes transcending our unfulfilling habitual conditioning, learning to love, and expressing our deepest heart in the midst of our everyday human lives. Sexuality in particular tends to hold people back from spiritual progress and development; the second half of this book is directed at transmuting this limitation into an opportunity, through skillful means of naked awareness practice and truth-method of self-realization.
So do me a favor. Let yourself rest loose, and read Blue Truth with the openness and freedom from preconceptions about Buddhism and religiosity that Zen masters call “beginners mind.” When I read these oral teachings in written form, I like to remember the ancient Taoist philosopher Chuang Tzu’s advice, who said: “I am going to speak some reckless words, and I want you to listen recklessly.” In that spirit, I can guarantee you that these insightful teachings will deepen your experience of immanent Buddha-nature and shine a new light on your moment-to-moment practice.
—LAMA SURYA DAS, from the Foreword to Blue Truth